Dumped a week before Christmas – so booked solo trip to Caribbean

Ever tried flogging to a different country to get over a break-up? Well, I did.... and here's everything I learned.

After getting dumped a week before Christmas, I decided to trade snowmen for sandcastles – and spent the Christmas holidays in Punta Cana… solo!

This is what I learned:

Single people pay more

Most hotels charge per room – and this sucks when you’re paying solo.

Airports are FULL of couples

Can you remember the Ne-Yo classic “So Sick”? Well, every time he turned on the radio, the songs reminded him of his ex.
Well, that’s kind of how I felt wandering through duty free on my own – I felt like I was the only single in the airport.

…and queueing seems to take soooo much longer, when you’re standing alone

Especially when all you see are happy couples everywhere, holding hands and exited.

I was wrong about AirDates…

The app I once thought was the key to bagging a quickie on the plane, turned out to be a bigger flop than my attempt at saving the relationship. #delete

Pain doesn’t need a passport

Was half hoping the agony I was feeling was going to get left at home. Turns out, heartache follows you around like a little b****… and like Donkey from Shrek, you’ll be constantly reminded of this throughout the trip.

Hotel beds are HUGE!!!

This becomes much more evident when you’re the only person sleeping on it.

Dieting is easier

I’d lost my appetite quite a bit, so when I felt like eating, I opted for healthier options as opposed to junk food. None of this Bridget Jones ice cream b***ocks for me…

Bridget Jones ice cream
Bridget Jones ice cream

I learned the difference between getting comfortable and lazy.

Comfortable is being able to crap with the door wide open… Getting lazy means packing on the pounds and not giving a shit. Flabby bits become a lot more apparent as a singleton.
Sh*t, I need to get back to the gym.

Booze isn’t a depressant… it’s an amplifier

During a break-up, the mind is kind of like the Caribbean Sea… One minute, calm and the next it’s as rough as hell.
A bucket of rum punch will either ensure your journey goes super peacefully or the complete opposite.  In my case, both.

Women are better at packing than men

There’s a handful of items I’d forgotten, like headache tablets and a little bag to put my dirty clothes in. they seem to pack more in tighter spaces too.

Packing a suitcase
Packing a suitcase

Company is easier to find when you’re solo (if you put yourself out there)

Fortunately, the hotel I stayed in hosted an airline crew for the week. So when I wasn’t feeling sorry for myself, I was spending time with these guys.

Learning the basics of a language is easier than I thought

Within a few hours of listening to a Spanish For Dummies audiobook, I was capable of ordering my food (and drink) in Spanish.
Fact: There’s over a thousand English words that are the same in Spanish. Now that’s a good start.

Tinder isn’t as fun as it looks

Before I got dumped, I can remember watching my mate Shane in envy, as he swiped through a never ending list of of girls in search of a worthy date / shag.
I got pretty bored of swiping after an hour.

Snow is overrated

Admittedly, there’s nothing ‘Christmassy’ about making a snowman out of sand, but I’d chose a sea-breeze over a freeze any day of the week (and that includes Christmas).

Boxing Day dinner is better in the Caribbean

I’d take grilled jerk chicken and a rum punch over cold turkey and mulled wine any day!

Too much headspace isn’t always a good thing – after a breakup

I had way too much time to think about what went wrong and started to blame myself.
Note: headspace.com is a site that helps you take control of your thoughts / reduce stress.

Dominican Republicans sure know how to make a killer rum punch

Although this has nothing to do with the break up, it’s worth noting because after ten of these, I become brain dead, and for a while could barely remember my own name, let alone hers.